The Red-Capped Prophet

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said 'Stop! don't do it!'

'Why shouldn't I?' he said.

I said, 'Well, there's so much to live for!'

He said, 'Like what?'

I said, 'Well...are you religious or atheist?' He said, 'Religious.' I said, 'Me too!

Are you Christian or Buddhist?' He said, 'Christian.' I said, 'Me too!

Are you Catholic or Protestant?' He said, 'Protestant.' I said, 'Me too!

Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?' He said, 'Baptist!' I said, 'Wow! Me too!

Are you Baptist church of god or Baptist church of the lord?' He said, 'Baptist church of god!' I said, 'Me too!

Are you original Baptist church of god, or are you reformed Baptist church of god?' He said, 'Reformed Baptist church of god!' I said, 'Me too!

Are you reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?' He said, 'Reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!' I said, 'Die, heretic scum,' and pushed him off."